Home Birth Part 2: My experience
We were committed to the home birth route and had no intention of turning back. Meetings with the midwife began. After the introduction and explanation of her practice, the most important question I had to ask our midwife was whether she was a Christian. Her answer was yes. She described her faith journey and how she became a midwife. I had the same question for our doula. She, too, was a believer and had a compelling story about why she became a doula. Understanding the background and motivation of our care providers was very important to me. From the very beginning, both our doula and midwife showed us love and compassion, filling us with information and knowledge throughout the process. To them, we were people first and patients second. We were never rushed, and that was greatly appreciated.
Throughout the process, there were many conversations with a common theme of female empowerment, which was incredible to witness. Through classes and discussions with the doula and midwives, we were frequently reminded of how incredible and strong women are, and how God designed both the baby and the woman's body to work together to make birth happen. Conversations like these are rare, but during the pregnancy, I felt strongly that they should be more common in our culture.
Time flew by, and the birth day finally arrived. I can confidently say there is nothing like the comfort of being at home. We had the freedom to create our own environment. We could decorate how we wanted, eat what we wanted, listen to whatever music we liked, move around as needed, lay in bed, or walk around. My favorite part was how involved I was allowed to be. I was with my wife through most of the contractions, assisting her with different positions, breathing with her, massaging her, and encouraging her throughout the process. In many ways, it was one of the most intimate times we have ever shared. Being at home was a major contributor to that experience.
The most significant event in our birth story was the transformation of my wife. I speak highly of our birth experience, but that doesn't mean it was easy. My wife was in labor for 24 hours. I saw her go deeper into her mind than I had ever seen before. I saw her overcome more pain than I thought she was capable of. I saw her access parts of her mind that were previously undiscovered, and I saw her push through complete physical exhaustion and give 100% of what she was capable of. Watching someone give 100% changes your perception of them, but it also changes you.
Given that it was a long labor and not a straightforward birth, in a hospital, pharmaceutical inductions and C-sections would have been heavily pushed on us. However, at home, the expertise and patience of the midwife and doula helped us stick to our original birth plan with minimal intervention. The labor was long, but with each passing hour, my wife unlocked confidence, self-esteem, and God-given physical, mental, and spiritual capabilities she didn't know existed before. Witnessing that was a high point in our relationship and made me fall in love with her all over again.
It would be a lie to say I entered the day with zero fear. A small seed of doubt remained with me that day, questioning if we had made the right choice. That feeling became even more tangible a few moments after my son was born, when he went limp after a few breaths.
My wife pleaded in an encouraging voice, "Come on, Baby Yemi, come on, Baby Yemi."
In that moment, I feared the “I told you so’s” I would have received from those who disapproved of our decision. However, I feel I needed to experience my doubt and see my lack of faith for what it was. Shortly after a few taps on the back, he began breathing again, and I felt God saying, "I told you so."
Conclusion
Ironically, I am at the hospital right now. My son is ill and required emergency attention. The good news is that his health is improving greatly. Modern medicine definitely has its place. However, even though we are here now, I can see clearly that this is not where I would have wanted to welcome my child into the world. Hospitals are for the sick, not the healthy. My child is a blessing we wanted to welcome into our home, not a burden we wanted to remove from our bodies.
The most common argument I hear is, “What if something goes wrong?” If something does go wrong, we thank God for modern medicine. The midwife was clear that if things were not looking right, she would not wait for an emergency and would want us to be able to drive calmly to the nearest hospital. Another argument to consider is, “What if things go incredibly right?” The Lord instructed us to be fruitful and multiply. He also said, “Children are a gift from the Lord.” I wonder what we leave on the table when we allow our decision-making to be led by fear rather than the promises and protection of the Lord.
Final Thoughts
Pregnancy is a miraculous natural event that has been central to the human experience since the beginning of time, long before hospitals and modern medicine existed. It is not, by itself, a medical event. Health risks are real, and emergencies can happen. Modern medicine is a gift from God and should be utilized when needed.
There is no one right path. I believe families should pray and educate themselves about alternative birth methods and inquire with others about their unique birth experiences. Ultimately, families should make decisions based on confidence in the Lord, not fear of the unknown. No matter which path families choose, involve God in the decision-making and trust that God will provide the safety and security we all seek.
